Grateful speech

Dear smokers, get our respect! We express our gratitude from all manufacturers of tobacco products. Your habit provides a comfortable existence for their children and grandchildren, their housemaids and pets. Never quit this habit! The government has decided to raise taxes on cigarette, but thanks to you, dear smokers, the tobacco companies will have profits.
Doctors thank you, dear smokers! Due to your efforts, the doctors will not face a crisis and unemployment. The flow of patients in hospitals and wards will not run out until you live, dear smokers! Whereas the smoke “eats away” your lungs and the walls of blood vessels are destroyed because of atherosclerosis, doctors will be always able to apply their knowledge and skills. Because of you they are useful and needed.
Get respect from owners of fitness clubs. You are the source of their profit. After all, every attempt to quit smoking leads you to the gym, where you are unsuccessfully trying to deal with an attack of excess weight. And, seeing the ineffectiveness of these attempts, you’re in a hurry for wonderful tablets and biological additives. Because of you their business is thriving and growing! Thank you from my colleagues! You help them not to become the slaves of their own careers. You vary the staff life by your smoke breaks.
Dentists thank you! Your attempts to restore whiteness of teeth and clean them from the yellow plaque make a significant contribution to the budget of dental clinics and offices. Special thanks from producers and sellers of chewing gum, which fresh breath. Such product will be always in popular demand. Thank you, dear smokers! And let the cigarettes not run out in your pockets and gas in your lighters! Smoke while beating a disordered heart, while sooty lungs breathe!